I have cried on floors and asked God "Why?"

Jun 15, 2021
Jesus has resurrected me more times than I can count.
He has pulled me out of more dark caves than I can fit into a social media post.
I know a very different Jesus than most.
I have seen His face and touched His robe.
He has shown me sides of His glory and His heart that most Christians avoid.
The sides that are real and raw and cut through every wall you've tried to put up.
I have seen too much and gone too deep and I can never go back. There isn't a person on this planet that convince me he isn't real and that He isn't all that is good and is faithful.
I don't fit into most Christian molds.... and I never want to.
I have cried on floors, literal floors, and asked God "Why?"
I have taken 3 hour car rides and cried and asked God, "Why did you make me this way?
 People don't like who I am. Why can't I be different?"
But I've also heard the audible voice of God.
He has healed my...
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I Am Addicted To Drama

Nov 20, 2020
I LOVE drama. And I’m addicted to the struggle.
My brain attaches to it like white on rice.
I got pregnant at 20. I was a freshman in college. Not married.
My baby’s daddy was toxic and our relationship was toxic and for whatever reason we thought getting married was the answer.
Our marriage was a struggle. Money was a struggle. Work was a struggle.
Paying bills was a STRUGGLE with a capital STRUGGLE.
We got divorced and BOOM.
I was a single mom barely making ends meet.
Foodstamps. Government assisted housing. Waiting tables.
Living under the poverty mark.
Making money has always been hard. But I always made sure I had some.
My bills were always paid and I always had money.... but LORDY did I have to work for it.
Late nights. Early mornings.
12 hours days on my feet at the restaurants. Just so I...
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No Client Can Make or Break Your Business

Nov 02, 2020

There is no customer or client that can make or break your business.

But…. our brain are jerks, and it likes to tell us that we have no control over the success of our business.
We think that every “no” is evidence our business isn’t working, and that every client or customer who quits is proof that it’s all going downhill.
Here is how you know if you are falling prey to this way of thinking….
• When a client/customer quits, you panic.
• When a client/customer quits, you instantly start thinking about YOUR business and the MONEY you just lost.
• When a client ghosts you on a consultation, you think “Ugh… I’m never gonna grow my business.”
• When a client or customer drops out, you assume it’s because you aren’t worthy or capable.
• Instead of thinking about what your client is thinking, all you can think about is you and your business and its impending doom.
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Ouch, I needed to hear that.

Oct 26, 2020

"Just be yourself."

I say this a lot. I preach this A LOT.

My husband said this to me tonight.

"Just be yourself, babe."

I literally felt my body cringe.

I mean I FELT IT. Physically.

Woah.... what was that about?

It felt a little like resistance coupled with some panic.

Be myself????

Supposed to be liberating, right?

Wrong.... not when your entire life you've been getting signals from everyone that "yourself" is wrong.

Every time I show up as "myself".... I get a message back that it's wrong.

That I'm too much. Too vocal. Too loud. Too opinionated. Too confrontational.

I get told that I don't fit in. That I don't get to sit at the table. That I'm not included.

I get told that my opinions are wrong. That I should work on my delivery. I should probably say less. Maybe I should sit down....

I've heard it all.

And it ALL feels bad. The rejection is painful. It hurts my heart. It causes me to close myself off.

I avoid people. I avoid friends. The Enneagram 8 in me won't admit that I'm hurt... so it...

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